How to Get Through Challenging Times

The Three Things that has Helped Me and Hopefully Can Help You!

It seems the challenging times are the ones that really shape us but also call for the most out of us. When in the midst of experiencing, working through and resolving inner, outer or both conflicts sometimes the best way to get through is simply hang tight and hope for a brighter outcome like waiting for the calm after the storm. If we have the motivation or support to help us be able to get through is a good first step, still it can take a lot of personal strength have-patience-withand courage to just putting one foot in front of the other when things seem uncertain or when we become uncertain of ourselves. Through my experiences I’ve learned that it’s not the easiest to go through but it is a process worth going through if only to come into a new awareness. Until then it can be a bumpy ride of sorting out but perhaps what I’ve kept in mind through my own challenging experiences can help you.

Be kind to yourself: It can be hard not to self criticize, dredge up past emotions or actions, analyze and overanalyze the situation until the cows come home but one thing I’ve learned from wrestling with these tendencies is that they are not always helpful. Sure it is important to reflect on the incident or occurrence to help us move forward and learn from our mistakes but this can also hold you back from moving forward positively and forgiving yourself. We all at one point in our lives fall prone to pitfalls and thoughts on self judgment that serve no purpose than no other to keep us down. These things are bound to happen, so be easy on yourself and know that part of hindsight comes from our errs or oversights, ones that we couldn’t have known.

Take Things Day by Day and Allow for the Process to Happen: From my own personal experience, there were many days where this is all I could in times of great stress and anxiety to get by and move forward in a positive way. If you can get through those first few days and allow yourself to take things slow by taking things day by day and for time to pass as it does, it’s a good step healthy step in keep those anxieties and self perpetuating thoughts at bay.  Even if it takes longer than we would like to carry on as normal or to feel good again it is completely okay, and it’s okay if that’s all you can do. By accepting this it is another way of being kind and patient with ourselves and fears during this time. Sometimes we only have the courage of a mouse but it is still a form of courage and that’s good and worth noting. Do what you can do, and keep on, keepin’ on.

It does get easier day by day: This is probably the most overriding theme and message that I’ve realized from getting through times of tough growth or failure is that those first few days are the hardest part of rising strong but if we continue to move forward gradually it will get better. Things will look up and you’ll see that everything won’t be as hard as the first few days which can be the toughest. At one point, hopefully, you’ll realize that as time passed so has your biggest hurdles. This is where rising strong feels good and becomes easier because as the expression states: “the only way out is through”. Through the tough times, the fear, uncertainty and nervousness. There may be some days that will take a bit more of that courage while others less but either way each step forward will also lead to extra courage and ease, so don’t get discouraged and know that each will build towards progress in the end.

Stay strong and brave,

Introverted Butterfly

A New Perspective on What it Takes to be Open (An Introvert’s Insight!)

An Introduction and Thoughts on the Subject:

I begin looking at this topic a while ago with the modest mindset of how others it seemed were more able to show an openness towards sharing themselves and their experiences which got me thinking that it seemed like a pretty courageous thing to do. I’ve always been in awe of that for others while striving to do the same myself. There is something about letting your true self be shown that is rather intimidating for me and so I’ve often admired it in others while simultaneously trying to work on it myself.  With that I’ve began the process really looking at the when and where of sharing while building my own quiet courage which has taken some mustering.

My progress so far: a) Is that it takes time to get there but in order to get there we must keep moving forward and b) by doing so it becomes a process of starting somewhfamous-life-quote_8782-0ere (usually with sharing small thoughts/experiences/interests and moving into bigger topics BUT as mentioned above you must keep moving forward. As hard and perhaps uncertain at times as it may be the alternative to that is getting stuck in a particular spot and not contribute to your own growth or growing the connection. I’ve learned through mine and other experiences that it can take some time too, but if we’re really lucky the person we are connecting with will be patient at the times where our courage is less or what we share is in small doses. It’s important to realize this for ourselves but also in terms of how others may work through opening up and sharing, the uniqueness of it for each person is what makes sharing experiences unique and perhaps to add on another important lesson we can learn from others- especially if they are more open it can encourage us to be more open too. So to conclude is we must keep moving forward, at your own pace of course, but forward. It seems to be the only way to make connections grow and to form trust.

Really what it mostly comes down to for me and might help you is a steadfastness in showing up, and being who I truly am. I’ve also taken the perspective that just by doing that I’m already half way there. Next as follows is the little pep talks I give myself to just say one thing/share one thing about yourself and see how it goes. The voice inside me would say, and you’ll feel prouder for doing it.

 

For now, Introverted Butterfly

A Lesson on Choices

I made this post on choices, accountability, responsibility and making ones that aren’t so fun a while ago, while the toughest decision then was going to a meeting or not going to a meeting. Today the decisions have become much tougher, it seems as we grow older our decisions only more complicated and mature. It’s a lesson I’ve been learning myself in thinking ahead and finding out what best suits where I am at.  I’ve also discovered that sometimes we have to make the tough calls that sometimes don’t just affect our plans but others- and those ones really aren’t fun to do. For instance, sometimes we can’t travel as far as our younger, more ambitious care-free selves would have liked to do. Tough but okay.  What I’ve realized is that there will be other chances and better opportunities and I’ve also come to accept my own decision. The true lesson here is that it’s important to take a step back from big decisions or situations and really look at what it means. Whether it’s spending our energy and selves wisely or that there may be a better way of doing things, we just have to be patient for that time and take the time to make the best decision. For me it was as much as I would have liked to travel again I knew that to readjust after being away for so long and so far would be too draining and too much. At that point the choice was clear, at this time it was best to cancel this trip until it seemed  the more ideal time.

So why am I reposting and sharing this with you?

To show how I’ve been able to this lesson into practice- and no it may not always be easy or fun but it’s survivable- meaning it’s possible to move on from (sometimes easier than others)

Insights, Inspirations and Interests

How to be Comfortable Making Tough Decisions

When it comes to decision-making most of the time it seems we can figure out what to do with some careful thought and reflection and get a good sense of what feels right. Every once in a while though there comes along an opportunity or decision that challenges that and causes us to rethink our initial approach causing us to question our gut and ourselves. These ones are often the tough decisions. The ones that may not be your first choice but somehow you feel obligated to make regardless. At this point no longer is one making more sense over the other but it seems to be “six of one and half a dozen of the other”. If you’re unfamiliar with this expression, it simply refers to the fact that there can be as much evidence pointing to one choice/thing over the other, making them…

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Being Ambitious…

And What It Means…

To me, It has always meant that there are certain things I wanted to accomplish in my lifetime, experiences to have and goals to set that at times may be out of my reach or  are very, very important to me. These are the things, that drive me (and probably you) forward into new endeavours, help me grow and are good ways to spread my wings and limits.

The experience seems that during those times, it’s a relentless search to attain goals just out of reach and often for me leads to some sort of unfulfilled feelings and desires. Deep down, I always seem to believe there will be something better out there, or more to do… but that’s as far as ambition often carries me. So, yeah it can be challenging but I also believe that it is key in moving forward and seeking out new opportunities. It’s job seems to be each time a welcome catalyst for change, a way to possibly embrace it and continue the daydreams, of bigger futures if only in my head. Continue reading

How to Bring Your True Self Forward!

On Openness and Letting Others See Your Authentic Self:

Putting yourself out there, personally and in the flesh, can be a very brave thing to do. You are letting those around you, see all your true colours- the pinks, purples, and yellows but also the darker ones those blues, greys and storm like hues. These are the sides we would rather not let out of our grasp, and instead keep safely tucked away without the key. Unfortunately, though, they are also the ones important to show if we want to build on any of our connections because these parts of us- all parts- are how we let others know that we are authenic (and human). Nobody is perfect, everybody has their faults/flaws. Those flaws are what make us interesting individuals.

I know that it may take some time and therefore is a process in which we must be patient with ourselves. These are two things, that I’m learning to work towards embracing more myself. So I totally get that. I’m starting to understand this though, that there really is no guarntee that others will be able to embrace every aspect of you, and will agree with what you’re saying but true friends accept each other for who they are- flaws and all-. Also the ones that forgive often when misunderstanding occurs.   Which is good because sometimes, we say things we’ll regret or take back later, or worse say nothing at all for fear that it will be the wrong thing or get taken the wrong way.

So how to begin…

You could start by challenging yourself to be more open, honest and authenic. I know it’s a hard and sometimes scary thing to do, but I am chosing to believe it’s 100% worth it in the end. Not only in finding the right connections and growing the74a469f67cbc03ced97d6b19b132fa4bm, but in working towards total acceptance of the self. Just think, if we can’t accept ourselves first then how are we going to allow another to get the chance to do that? When we become more comfortable with who we are and what we have to offer it seems easier to let others see that and know that if we find ourselves straying from true form they have the chance to remind us who we truly are.

So, why not take a chance or risk and open up a bit more outside of your comfort zone.

Always learning,

Introverted Butterfly

A Lesson on Choices

How to be Comfortable Making Tough Decisions

When it comes to decision-making most of the time it seems we can figure out what to do with some careful thought and reflection and get a good sense of what feels right. Every once in a while though there comes along an opportunity or decision that challenges that and causes us to rethink our initial approach causing us to question our gut and ourselves. These ones are often the tough decisions. The ones that may not be your first choice but somehow you feel obligated to make regardless. At this point no longer is one making more sense over the other but it seems to be “six of one and half a dozen of the other”. If you’re unfamiliar with this expression, it simply refers to the fact that there can be as much evidence pointing to one choice/thing over the other, making them both equal in terms of value or in this case… equally tough.

Let’s face it, if you chose what seems to be the unpopular choice in your heart, it seems to be right in your mind. Or you could chose the popular choice in your heart, even if it may not make a whole lot of sense, it through a logic perspective seemed right for you but maybe not necessarily in the long run. So those are the two tough routes. Go against the grain or against your heart.

So what can you do? What should you do? 

You could be rebellious, sticking to those guns of yours and following the path of your heart into doing your own thing. Mine often encourages me “this is where the fun will be, so we should go there!”*Note: you should know that it’s very easy to tempt me with fun things, fun experiences, or activities*. You plan it and I’m there. Less so with not so fun responsibilties/obligations that at times I’d rathefd3639e8f10364d1ae94696105b27f75r avoid but understand sometimes work has to come before play.

Or…

Make the tough, unpopular choice anyways knowing that you may have to bear it now but there will hopefully be something fun to do later. After all I ,like anyone else, would love for my life to be filled with nothing but fun things, decisions and activities but if we all followed this path then nothing would get done (or nothing necessary would get done). Sometimes we have to make unpopular choices in order to move forward or make progress and sometimes we get to chose to do something fun and spontaneous that makes everything worth it in the end.

Yes, it going to be tough and the “right” decision may not always be the one with the outcome you wanted but either way you will have to live with one choice or another- good, bad or indifferent- that’s the beauty and curse sometimes of having choice.

So which are you most comfortable living with? That’s the true question to be answered in the end. It may be tough but sometimes it’s helpful to consider 8ba8ba23c5c41649d489c666dd87b3f4when making tough decisions and deciding if there is a way to bring our best selves/most prepared selves into a situation, even the ones we might not have wanted to do.

Introverted Butterfly

 

Image from: Pinterest- Pins of the Week, https://www.pinterest.com/pin/295056213069237145/

http://www.chicagonow.com/moms-who-drink-and-swear/2014/05/what-you-can-do-when-you-cant-help-a-mentally-ill-parent/

 

Images from: Pinterest- Pins of the Week

 

Enjoying the Journey

Enjoying the journey is such a simple truth, yet important. When you consider that the idea of a journey occurs throughout our lives. Not just in the sense of going on adventures, or searching for meaning, but in learning about who we are, what we’ve come through and sticking in there when things are rough. Where we grow and rise up from our downfalls by dusting ourselves off and carrying this lesson with us. Sometimes though we forget that there is still learning to be done, and become painfully hard on ourselves when things don’t go exactly as planned.

That is life though, there’s ups and downs. Good and bad times. Things we’ve figured out, and things yet to be figured. It’s all part of this wonderful experience we get to live called: life. Also though, it’s a journey, that grows as you grow.

With each new lesson we’re putting under our belt, it adds to the sum total of our expansive experiences, and the never ending journey that they lead us on. There is always something new to learn, sometimes all you have to do is look a little harder and closer to figure it out.

So, why not explore and enjoy the ride- for all it’s worth-, as we continue to learn more about ourselves and what we’re capable of!

Introverted Butterfly

Don’t Go Changing (or do…)

Accepting Change as a Process and Taking it Day by Day

Firstly let me say that getting comfortable with change is a process that occurs by taking things day by day and accepting things as they are-even when they aren’t as ideal or perfect as we would wish them to be-. With that said, it’s not easy and might never be totally worry-free especially if it is a change we had little say in. One thing I’m finding helpful is learning to accept change rather than spend exhaustive energy on trying to fight what I can’t change. A big learning curve and process for someone like me who doesn’t always take well for change, but is finding it a worthwhile thing for my well-being (and you never know, you might find the same for yours).

The alternative is fretting about it until we’re blue in the face and creating for ourselves an uphill battle like trying to paddle up a river with a strong current- in the opposite direction-. We’ll only end up in the exact same spot but using up all our energy. The only thing we can change is how we chose to look at things- perspective- and what is right in front of us- the present moment-. That’s all. As the expression goes: “worrying won’t rid yesterday of it’s problems, but it will rid today of it’s strengths.” It is indeed  this message that I’ve been reminding myself of lately in the midst of change. When I am feeling like change is catching up to me or happening too fast and I feel myself struggle to deal with it I go to practicing the art of focusing on the day and tasks at hand. One thing at a time, and one day at a time I’m getting through. Amongst all this, I am gradually finding a more positive way of looking at the world and day by day it gets easier to accept the six letter word we all dread- CHANGE-.

To all those out there who ,as we all do, struggle or occasionally feel overwhelmed by our constantly changing world. It’s okay, everything will get easier if you take it day-by-day, and appreciate what is right in front of you while it’s still there. Before long it won’t take you much convincing to believe that it’s going to be okay. So keep calm and carry on.

Introverted Butterfly

Back to the Basics

So here’s the thing. Lately, I’ve come to a bit of a road block with my blog writing. In that what I had hoped to write and share with you has either felt like it’s wasn’t the right time to put it out there or I’ve tried to explain it using the right words to convey my message but let fear take over. I know, I have heard that there will never be the “right” words and one cannot control how others perceive how we (as writers) say things, but most importantly I wanted to make sure that what I’ve been hoping to send out reflects as true as it can in my own life.

Alas, this time around it was tough to convey appreciate the moments message when I have my own struggles with it- thusly, writing that would have made me feel like a hypocrite (something I don’t want to be).  In trying several attempts to say that and failing. I decided to turn to a simpler form in keeping up with my writing practice- Poetry-. It was where I first started writing (and discovering it’s power). When I couldn’t quite express so articulately what I wanted to say I turned to paper and poems for a much smoother and easy way of getting it out of my head. I believe all us creative types have our “beginning building” forms of expression. And, often so it is a process of starting small and working towards the bigger heftier pieces before we get our “C” legs and go onto larger things.

As such that is exactly what I’ve been doing. Feeling tongue tied and nervous with the “what” and “how” to say things. I tried a simpler form of writing that allowed me to express exactly what I needed to for my own benefits. Now with that as an alternate tool I’m hoping, as in with this post, that I’ll be able to write more clearly again. It has at least felt good to be able to write something and avoid the dreaded and fearsome “Writer’s Block”. Anyways, that’s it for now-stay tuned.

Introverted Butterfly

The Art of Practice

As with any skill to be learned, I’ve realized that there is a muscle to be strengthened- whether it’s your brain and it’s various thinking processes or your physical body and exercise. If you don’t keep up that muscle consequently it will weaken. A thought that fits somewhere along the lines of “if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it!” logic that parents scare into kids in getting them to be more active but can be applied in many different aspects of the self and life- whether it’s a natural talent one’s hoping to hone in on, revisiting an old skill or even learning something new it all comes down to PRACTICE, and practice daily (that is if we wish for success).

This I know for certain that the only way of becoming confident in doing something is through experience and what does that create, you may ask–> Practice. Yes, simply by doing something, again and again we become better, funny how that works. I came across this strangely simple logic while fantasizing about becoming a writer without actually writing and only relying onIMG_1142 my very unpolished, raw talent to be enough to carry me through. As most creative types, I was coming up with all these brilliant ideas but barely had the practice or discipline to see them through, that was until I realized that the only way to become better was through continuing to write and learn more about my craft. Surprisingly, it wasn’t long till I grew my confidence in writing- even at difficult blocks, I knew there was only getting better through gradual steady practice and picking myself up from my fall.

Which brings me to my second point, practice doesn’t always make perfect but I guarantee it will lead to progress. With each new step you take towards improving on your objective you’re one step further than you were before. So, be gentle with yourself when you fail, get back up and try again with everything you know now and the conclusion that there is no going back. By making our aim progress over perfection we allow in err and the* -kl,………..5\\\\ – *ability to be gentle on ourselves- because nobody is perfect, but we are always able to make progress.

Potential Helpful Ideas:

  • Remember to take small steps, if you find the bigger leaps daunting. As eventually they will all add up towards accomplishing your goal/objective.
  • Don’t get discouraged, be gentle on yourself and make note of that you’ll try again tomorrow if at first you don’t succeed
  • Consider using a calendar to keep track of progress and celebrate your successes, because only acknowledging downfalls will not help in motivating you along in your journey
  • Lastly, if you are the journaling/logging type keep one of your progress to look back on or help you track your progress!

Remember as Joyce Carol Oates says; “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Author’s note: speaking of err the *kl,…(etc.) was my funny cat contributing to this post

Introverted Butterfly