An Introduction and Thoughts on the Subject:
I begin looking at this topic a while ago with the modest mindset of how others it seemed were more able to show an openness towards sharing themselves and their experiences which got me thinking that it seemed like a pretty courageous thing to do. I’ve always been in awe of that for others while striving to do the same myself. There is something about letting your true self be shown that is rather intimidating for me and so I’ve often admired it in others while simultaneously trying to work on it myself. With that I’ve began the process really looking at the when and where of sharing while building my own quiet courage which has taken some mustering.
My progress so far: a) Is that it takes time to get there but in order to get there we must keep moving forward and b) by doing so it becomes a process of starting somewhere (usually with sharing small thoughts/experiences/interests and moving into bigger topics BUT as mentioned above you must keep moving forward. As hard and perhaps uncertain at times as it may be the alternative to that is getting stuck in a particular spot and not contribute to your own growth or growing the connection. I’ve learned through mine and other experiences that it can take some time too, but if we’re really lucky the person we are connecting with will be patient at the times where our courage is less or what we share is in small doses. It’s important to realize this for ourselves but also in terms of how others may work through opening up and sharing, the uniqueness of it for each person is what makes sharing experiences unique and perhaps to add on another important lesson we can learn from others- especially if they are more open it can encourage us to be more open too. So to conclude is we must keep moving forward, at your own pace of course, but forward. It seems to be the only way to make connections grow and to form trust.
Really what it mostly comes down to for me and might help you is a steadfastness in showing up, and being who I truly am. I’ve also taken the perspective that just by doing that I’m already half way there. Next as follows is the little pep talks I give myself to just say one thing/share one thing about yourself and see how it goes. The voice inside me would say, and you’ll feel prouder for doing it.
For now, Introverted Butterfly
Finding Your Voice and Starting Conversation
I may have said this before but finding ones voice especially as an introvert (or extra special listener) can be tough especially if we find ourselves surrounded by people who are mostly extra talkatives (better known as extroverts). The world truly needs both types of individuals, and yes those who are trained in bringing us out of our shells while at the same time acknowledging that sometimes we prefer to listen are a special type of friend or family member, that if we’re lucky we already have someone like that in our lives.
While other times we are with different individuals-who not by any fault- don’t allow us to shine as much or practice using our wonderful voices- that yes, do matter and add valuable perspective to the world. A tricky dance to be done by both sides; just as our more outgoing cohorts may find it challenging to take backseat in conversation, we may in return have trouble leading conversation or participating in it. Too fearful of saying the wrong things or not knowing what to say we prefer to let the other person lead.
My advice to that, and to all is take a chance, and don’t be afraid of those awkward moments. Yes, it may not have turned out as planned but eventually you’ll be able to figure out what went wrong and learn from. You can also try to truly observe other people in conversation and listen to the types of questions they use mimicking theirs until you are comfortable using our own. No matter what, don’t give up if at first you don’t succeed- as we all have those awkward moments of conversation- those “I shouldn’t have said that’s”, try again. It’s really as simply as “just trying” you’ll feel better trying than not and living with the regret of what you could have said versus what you said and at least tried.
- To start off or discover your voice try pursuing other/alternative ways of expressing yourself- whether journaling, writing, art or music- these will help you discover what/who your form of expressing is.
- You may even find doing this that a new interest, hobby or passion emerges in the process and VIOLA so does a topic of conversation too. “You like writing. What type of writing do you do?”
- Everyone knows that if it’s something we are truly passionate about it’s much easier to talk about versus something we have little knowledge in.
In the spectrum of variety I’ve learned that we are all different, and bring something different to each connection and person we meet. Some enjoy being social and starting conversations (or are more natural at it), while others- Introvert’s- take our time in opening up, expressing our thoughts, ideas or feelings. For us, it is more of a process of becoming comfortable in what we want to say and finding the right words, and thinking first and speaking second. This can is also quite true in getting to know new people, as we get to know our new friend/friends more, we become more comfortable sharing and opening up to this person- revealing our true selves-. Even though, it may take time piece by piece you’ll get the chance to learn who we truly are. Sometimes, I understand, it can tricky to be brave and open as it may be tricky for those more extroverted to sit back and listen. So here a couple helpful hints in encouraging my fellow introverts to get out of our shells and for the extrovert in our lives to help encourage us to open-up while being who we are:
Opening up is a process for anyone starting a new connection, introverts though may take longer in feeling comfortable doing so. Therefore, it might take us a bit longer to open up we approach most new situations cautiously and like to feel there is a little certainty in taking that risk. Once we are more comfortable and are willing to open up sharing becomes easier. Take your time, and move at your own pace- as long as you move forward doing so. It can be rewarding sharing with the right friend (you don’t have to share your life story), but what’s relevant and you feel comfortable will show the other person that it’s not just a one way sharing streak. When sharing is equal, then the friendship as a whole is more balanced.
To all the introverts out there, when you find the true friends out there who let YOU be YOU! It’s well worth sharing your story!
BE YOU and stay tuned for more…
Image from: https://www.google.ca/search?q=friendship&sa=X&biw=1366&bih=753&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&ved=0CBwQsARqFQoTCOSfkKXo28cCFYx7kgod4YkMZw#tbm=isch&tbs=rimg%3ACZdpg-2fMR3rIjiUBqO3UmqQT2kLJj4WNon29bZ0op3J-o85jq0uvBD7dsFCGyfh_16xIRXYbALp_1wtuJbDDa0ZfKQCoSCZQGo7dSapBPEdJkPAapIsaIKhIJaQsmPhY2ifYRrzKDGlXb84gqEgn1tnSincn6jxGC-z9cRGxruCoSCTmOrS68EPt2EUgwANU4vzBDKhIJwUIbJ-H_1rEgRc-JpUcF0PawqEglFdhsAun_1C2xG0ywuYXhymSyoSCYlsMNrRl8pAEXKrSbQ2v8v7&q=friendship&imgrc=l2mD7Z8xHeuXXM%3A