Growing is Hard to do (sometimes); but necessary!

~ Reflections on Growing Wiser and Learning from Our Setbacks~

I’ve often talked about growing in terms of new experiences or in learning something new, or making mistakes that teach us valuable lessons on how to move forward or alternatively how not to move forward (i.e. don’t try that again, type of thing). Whether they are good, tough or in between, these personal experiences are the best teachers to learn from and learn about ourselves… that is if we are paying attention to the lesson. If not, sometimes it can be frustrating, or tough having to learn again and again until the message becomes absolutely clear. Sometimes for me this has been the case of “What you are doing isn’t working” or “Try something else” or “Don’t going down that path again”. Whatever it happens always seems to be followed by some new form of knowledge, a tidbit about ourselves that we didn’t know before that allows us to go in a little more prepared than the last perhaps failed attempt. 

But what if that doesn’t work and we end up making it quite a few times, all leading up to a humungous oops?!?

Well, this has been the case for me- a huge stage of every-kind-of-ward growing. Which I realize only after going through some of the toughest moments and emotions that it’s left me better than before. It seems our setbacks have the pretty powerful ability to transform us into stronger versions of ourselves, which is a pretty incredible. I’ve realized this myself and gradually am trying to become grateful for the lessons. Even though, the process that precedes this realization, and transformation was tough and sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other seemed to be asking a lot; it became a necessary step in moving forward and on with life.

The lesson I’ve learned is then this is what we must do if only to prove to ourselves that we can do it and for the process to begin. Despite it being tough and me having to rely on extra support I still managed  to learn a lot about myself and how I am able to grow from my own experiences and mistakes. Getting through the thick of it has also made me realize how strong and resilient I am and that if I got through this difficult time then maybe it is possible to get through any other challenges that may come my way. On this note I shall end with a quote from the wonderful Cheryl Strayed:

“You’ll learn a lot from yourself if you stretch in the direction of goodness, of bigness, of kindness, of forgiveness, of emotional bravery.

Be a warrior of love.”~ Cheryl Strayed

Thank-you for listening,

Introverted Butterfly,

Creating Goals and Working Through Them

Reflections on Changing Directions and Setting Goals!

I’ve really been thinking about the courage it takes to pursue something new or start a new project and how to move forward from there. You know the necessary steps it takes and the hard work involved that mainly seem to stump me up from the beginning. I’ve also realized that there’s a certain courage it often takes in the doing but firstly I believe it must come in deciding to do so and following through. Without that it’s as the quote says:

A Goal without a Plan is Just a Wish

So I admire others who were able to follow their plans while I still struggle in sorting mine out. Occasionally comparing my first ch
apter to their middle or end which is in how they’ve been able to pursue their passions or take those next few steps. While not  giving credit to how far I’ve come and the progress I’ve made.

With that said, here is what I learned about creating and pursuing our goals:

  1. Sometimes the only way to figure out what works for us; what we can do and even what our goal might be is to try. It took me many attempts at writing before I figured out that blogging is for me, and I’m still learning from it and figuring out what specifically works. There’s a lot to be learned through trial and error. Even the simplest experiences are great guides in showing us what works for us, what doesn’t and what is most important. BUT it is only throu72e8ca0e9b0dcfe9befc65c80a36ad41gh these experiences that we gain valuable insights.
  2. Each new step to that point seems to be built upon the last. The more you put in and work towards that goal, the clearer it will become. You may also find what isn’t working for you anymore, but even those steps will bring you closer to what does.
  3. With each step there is room for further inquiries and also setbacks. Both allow us to reflect on our choices and adjust the direction of the sails. One important point is being gentle with ourselves if we come into tough times or make mistakes. It’s just a lesson that perhaps it’s time to reevaluate and reflect on where we went wrong and how to move in a better direction. Reflection is good, dwelling not so good.

It can be tricky feeling ready to take on change especially if we are uncertain how. Hopefully thinking of each decision simply a step or way to try something helps us be more open to it. It’s just a step for us to see where it may lead and it’s a way for us to move past the hypothetical “ifs” or “what ifs” we often get stuck on in between deciding whether it’s something we want to do or not. I’ve embraced many new experiences this past year and learned great new skills simply by deciding to go for them and seeing how it goes, figuring things out along the way. When you decide to try and see what happens the possibilities are endless. Who knows you might end up surprising yourself.

Best of Luck, and Great Steps,

Introverted Butterfly

 

 

A Lesson on Choices

I made this post on choices, accountability, responsibility and making ones that aren’t so fun a while ago, while the toughest decision then was going to a meeting or not going to a meeting. Today the decisions have become much tougher, it seems as we grow older our decisions only more complicated and mature. It’s a lesson I’ve been learning myself in thinking ahead and finding out what best suits where I am at.  I’ve also discovered that sometimes we have to make the tough calls that sometimes don’t just affect our plans but others- and those ones really aren’t fun to do. For instance, sometimes we can’t travel as far as our younger, more ambitious care-free selves would have liked to do. Tough but okay.  What I’ve realized is that there will be other chances and better opportunities and I’ve also come to accept my own decision. The true lesson here is that it’s important to take a step back from big decisions or situations and really look at what it means. Whether it’s spending our energy and selves wisely or that there may be a better way of doing things, we just have to be patient for that time and take the time to make the best decision. For me it was as much as I would have liked to travel again I knew that to readjust after being away for so long and so far would be too draining and too much. At that point the choice was clear, at this time it was best to cancel this trip until it seemed  the more ideal time.

So why am I reposting and sharing this with you?

To show how I’ve been able to this lesson into practice- and no it may not always be easy or fun but it’s survivable- meaning it’s possible to move on from (sometimes easier than others)

Insights, Inspirations and Interests

How to be Comfortable Making Tough Decisions

When it comes to decision-making most of the time it seems we can figure out what to do with some careful thought and reflection and get a good sense of what feels right. Every once in a while though there comes along an opportunity or decision that challenges that and causes us to rethink our initial approach causing us to question our gut and ourselves. These ones are often the tough decisions. The ones that may not be your first choice but somehow you feel obligated to make regardless. At this point no longer is one making more sense over the other but it seems to be “six of one and half a dozen of the other”. If you’re unfamiliar with this expression, it simply refers to the fact that there can be as much evidence pointing to one choice/thing over the other, making them…

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Quote for the Week:

“Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may have been given a cactus, but you don’t have to sit on it.”- Joyce Meyer

Always on the look out for insightful and inspiring quotes to help further positivity. Many catch my attention but sometimes there’s one or two that particularly sticks out for me at a certain time or place in my life. That it’s words resignate deeply within me and what I’m experiencing at the present moment. This is one of those instances where it’s wisdom has truly struck a chord with my experience presently and hope will help bring me into a more optimistic place. I love how it touches on that we already have a journey ahead of us that may not always be smooth, and if we dwell on that along with every hiccup that comes our way than we are making it harder on ourselves- hence sitting on the cactus we were already given- and who really intentionally wants to do that. It’s not overly complicated or deep, complex or even long message. Two sentences, that say it all about life and our perspectives on it. That dwelling on all the negativity will not change anything, only to make each day harder on yourself by bringing more of what makes it hard into your life.

tumblr_mqznpeCXS91qzbng1o2_1280.jpgI also fully understand that sometimes we just need to feel our experiences and what we are going through. To get to a more positive place, and sometimes those experiences create storms within our emotions. As one of my mentors- repeatedly points out-: “Just the experience of feeling what you are, IS THE EXPERIENCE itself!” There is sometimes nothing more to it than that. It is what it is. So allow it to be, and flow through you. Those feelings are there to help in the healing process and point out to us valuable lessons or show us exactly how strongly we felt about a particular situation. A good indication that we’re living and experiencing life to the fullest.

At a certain point ,I believe, when we’re ready to move past the pain and negativity onto much more brighter and lighter things. This is the point, where dwelling in the negative isn’t as useful and essentially is like sitting on the cactus. Of course, you’re always going to get poked in the butt if you keeping bring those feelings on and go about the journey that lay ahead in a negative way versus one full of love, healing and hope.

So with that I march on, determined to get through the week and find inspiration again, be more positive and optimistic, productive and hope for a better week next week.

Here’s hoping for brighter days to come:

Introverted Butterfly

Marking My Year

What I’ve Learned and Looking forward to What’s to Come!

I’m always so amazed how fast time goes by within a year for me. It seems to sneak up to me as I look back and realize all that has gone by and what I’ve experienced and learned in that time. As I’ve gotten older and perhaps more aware of how I’ve grown and changed thoroughout my individual year, birthdays become much more important and meaningful to me. It becomes a time of year where this butterfly has started to really reflect on her transformation and growth in anticipation to what the following year can bring. Always being somewhat of an introspective individual it surprises me that I’ve never quite been so reflective sooner. Anyways, since I am blogging this year (only started blogging late June last year) I thought I’d take this time to share what I’ve learned of and from myself in the past year:

 

Butterfly’s 10 Lessons

  1. That nothing is impossible, as long as you put your will into it, you will find a way.
  2. (To go with 1): Also that nothing truly worth doing comes easy. Most times you have to really practice and work at it to get the rewards and then they will be worth waiting for.
  3. It’s okay to loosen your grip every once in a while, and trust balloons-25737_1280.pngwhen you do that things will be okay, in fact they might possibly be more than okay.
  4. It can be really fun and exciting to try new things. A little scary at first (sure), but well worth it in the end. Even more so if you are trying them with a friend!
  5. Life is always going to hand you surprises and unexpected twists, that in the end all that really matters is how you brush yourself off and carry on. Whatever you do- keep marching onward, it will get better.
  6. Sometimes the only opinion you need to listen to is your own. You always will have the right answers for you. You just need to listen and trust that what you come up with will be for the best. Take the time to listen and you might be surprised by what you come up with!
  7. Patience is really a virtue… and a tough one at that. Also one that needs to constantly be practiced
  8. Gratitude is crucial to happiness, but once more hard to practice at times.
  9. Enjoy the small moments, conversations and experiences because they’ll turn into the memoriable big things put together.
  10. Advice from my sister: “Always remember to feed the good wolf and never the bad wolf, if you want to live a positive life”

Introverted Butterfly

Quote for the Week:

“A person who never made a mistake, never tried anything new.”~ Albert Einstein

I came across this quote while scrolling online and it struck a chord with me. One which rung out “That’s right. It’s so true.”  Even more so as I reflected more deeply into Albert Einstein’s wise wisdom I found this particular one (the Quote of the wonderfully-inspirational-thoughts-for-the-day-19Week) fit in nicely with what I’ve been up to and learning from this week. Which is more fun and experiences in baking.

My aim in baking has simply been to learn and have some fun while doing so along the way. I really (rarely) put any attachments to the outcome -other then it being edible-on my projects when I start because I know it is still somewhat of a new experience for me. By doing this, I have become more open to trying new things and recipes. Embracing my errs into the “So. that happened” category, learning and moving on.

IMG_1443As with anything new, it’s always a bit nerve racking to try for the first time because you don’t quite know how the recipe will turn out but I’ve learned as long as you follow the recipe as best one can, it will be okay. With each recipe, there seems to be less nerve and intimidation- and more trust. I believe this can be true for any new experience we get ourselves into. The more I tried and learned, the more willing I was to try different recipes (such as these Banana Chocolate Chip cookies), even some with my co-chef.

I know we all would rather not have to make mistakes but some are more fun to experience than others, and having an openness towards whatever happens means if something goes awry it’s less likely to ruin the entire experience.  So you make a mess- clean it up; too much banana didn’t ruin the recipe, the cookies just turned out a little differently (although too much of other things might, always try to follow the recipe as best you can). Most importantly have fun and be open to new suggestions and moments of learning. Which is what you’ll find when you let go of the need for things to turn out just so or to turn out perfectly.

Baker’s Best:

Introverted Butterfly

A Lesson in Grammar

So here’s the thing. As I share this, I know that I’m not the greatest grammar expert and perhaps the funny coincidence I’ve come across is a lesson in being clear in what we write, so to avoid confusion. For myself, I know the rules and most of the time can do some editing myself but other times it’s trickier to do and I miss a rule or two. With that said I believe in this day and age is increasingly important not to forget how to properly type/write. As the use of cellphones and the fast paces of our lives make using abbreviations through text an easy way to communicate our messages. I somtimes worry that grammar can take a backseat to other things we find important such as replying promptly or being brief. However, there does seem to be those times when it pops up again reminding us it is always around regardless of whether we need to improve ours or not. If we are communicating with each other, whether in paper or person it is always going to be important to know it’s rules and how they affect what we say.  There is even something to be learned from it day to day. That is what makes our language so interesting.

As writer’s and even people in need of communicating clear messages it’s important to be aware of what we are saying and how we word it. Because unlike in person conversations, there is no tone of voice or body language that can hint at some extra feeling or meaning behind what was said. All there is, is a writer’s word to be taken as is. This is partly why I am so careful andpencil-190586_1280 pecular about what I write here. As I am beginning to understand how important it can be in giving the right messages and clear ones as a blogger but also someone connecting with other people.

When you (as the author/writer) do so it becomes less confusing for readers, and leaves little room for things to get misinterpreted. The clearer you are with your words the less confusing it can be for readers/receivers of messages. As simple as that. For now on, I’m going to be mindful of that. Knowing how important is it to send out clear messages with the right words.

Until we write again (or more so I),

Introverted Butterfly

Today’s Quote for the Week

“You Miss 100% of the Shots You Don’t Take!”~ Wayne Gretzky

Sitting here, reflecting on everything I’ve felt and that’s happened in the last week. Simply taking stock of what I’ve been feeling and all that’s been happening this past little while realizing that I’ve had nothing to lose when it’s come to putting myself out there. Which has been a big obstabcle I believe in holding me back from being braver and putting myself and my work out there more often or taking advantage of great opportunities. Literally I’ve been mulling over the what-if’s and the worst case scenerios of what could happen when I haven’t even allowed those things to happen yet.

Man, why do our minds always take us in that direction? 

It’s always the “worst-case” scenerios, what if it was just “this happened.” No, best or worst, but looking at it as either way the outcome was exactly that- an outcome-, and what you take away from it is a lesson. Whether you feel like being a little braver next time or discover that maybe you need a bit more practice before trying again. At least, at this point you know better and can learn. Really, it’s impossible to learn if you don’t try. So now, as I’m writing on this I realize that was the meBlog Logo 3ssage all along- right under my stinkin’ fearful nose. “You never know til you try.”

I can guarntee you won’t get any clearer idea of where to go, what to do or how to improve next if you always mull things over. Where you will get some value and insight is by simply trying. I can’t tell you how many new things I’ve tried- including this blog-, and have both gotten better through trying, while learned a lot from the experiences. So it’s worthwhile, and you won’t know how to practice and improve unless you try. All things take practice- that’s a given fact, what they also take is the courage to try. Suddenly, this quote that I’ve read so many times makes sense in a whole new way.  No long is it just interesting but now it’s a realization, an “ahhh, I see” reaction.

 

How’s that for some Friday motivation for you!

This post is for everyone out there who inspired me to try something new, for that I thank-you, and who continues to inspire me to keep trying new things.

Hope you find this helpful, and as motivational as I did.

Introverted Butterfly

A Lesson on Choices

How to be Comfortable Making Tough Decisions

When it comes to decision-making most of the time it seems we can figure out what to do with some careful thought and reflection and get a good sense of what feels right. Every once in a while though there comes along an opportunity or decision that challenges that and causes us to rethink our initial approach causing us to question our gut and ourselves. These ones are often the tough decisions. The ones that may not be your first choice but somehow you feel obligated to make regardless. At this point no longer is one making more sense over the other but it seems to be “six of one and half a dozen of the other”. If you’re unfamiliar with this expression, it simply refers to the fact that there can be as much evidence pointing to one choice/thing over the other, making them both equal in terms of value or in this case… equally tough.

Let’s face it, if you chose what seems to be the unpopular choice in your heart, it seems to be right in your mind. Or you could chose the popular choice in your heart, even if it may not make a whole lot of sense, it through a logic perspective seemed right for you but maybe not necessarily in the long run. So those are the two tough routes. Go against the grain or against your heart.

So what can you do? What should you do? 

You could be rebellious, sticking to those guns of yours and following the path of your heart into doing your own thing. Mine often encourages me “this is where the fun will be, so we should go there!”*Note: you should know that it’s very easy to tempt me with fun things, fun experiences, or activities*. You plan it and I’m there. Less so with not so fun responsibilties/obligations that at times I’d rathefd3639e8f10364d1ae94696105b27f75r avoid but understand sometimes work has to come before play.

Or…

Make the tough, unpopular choice anyways knowing that you may have to bear it now but there will hopefully be something fun to do later. After all I ,like anyone else, would love for my life to be filled with nothing but fun things, decisions and activities but if we all followed this path then nothing would get done (or nothing necessary would get done). Sometimes we have to make unpopular choices in order to move forward or make progress and sometimes we get to chose to do something fun and spontaneous that makes everything worth it in the end.

Yes, it going to be tough and the “right” decision may not always be the one with the outcome you wanted but either way you will have to live with one choice or another- good, bad or indifferent- that’s the beauty and curse sometimes of having choice.

So which are you most comfortable living with? That’s the true question to be answered in the end. It may be tough but sometimes it’s helpful to consider 8ba8ba23c5c41649d489c666dd87b3f4when making tough decisions and deciding if there is a way to bring our best selves/most prepared selves into a situation, even the ones we might not have wanted to do.

Introverted Butterfly

 

Image from: Pinterest- Pins of the Week, https://www.pinterest.com/pin/295056213069237145/

http://www.chicagonow.com/moms-who-drink-and-swear/2014/05/what-you-can-do-when-you-cant-help-a-mentally-ill-parent/

 

Images from: Pinterest- Pins of the Week

 

Going Away to Return to You!

A Lesson on Self Discovery and Being Open to New Experiences!

It is so interesting when you chose to go away somewhere-whether it’s through travelling to another place or country; taking a short trip or retreat- that you can learn so much about yourself and how comfortable you are of stepping outside your comfort zone. Just that alone can teach you about who you are, what you are capable of doing and how far you can grow, just from one or maybe more than one IMG_1392experience.

And this is how I felt having set intentions before going out on my own retreat hoping that I could realize them or even better see them through to come to some sort of understanding about why I needed to set those ones specifically. At the same time I was open to whatever else came of this journey that I agreed to go on knowing this was one of the experiences I decided to gift myself with- stuck in a rut and in need of a way to get out-. What happened following then surprised me (but pleasantly). I discovered so much more about who I am and who I am becoming throughout the course of this journey, but more importantly how much I had grown throughout the seasons (not just during but before). That I needed to give myself credit for that, and embrace this new exploration into who I am. Almost like a reclaiming of the self, amidst this discovery of believing myself as a worthy person and special enough for this journey. I became even more in tune with my inner truth and what makes me special by finding out who I am. With that in mind, I now believe the trick is-whenever you are going away or trying a newoman-570883_640w experience- is to be open to where it can lead and what you can learn from. Some times stepping outside or inside places (as it turned out for me) that aren’t in your comfort zone can teach you so much more about yourself then you’d ever believe. So not only by setting intentions on what you want to get out of a particular experience you can make the best of it, but by being open to anything else that might come up in the process it can surprise you and allow you to grow even more. Or as I discovered sometimes the true you just needs to be rediscovered in the process of going away to come back to oneself.

Truly Yours,

Introverted Butterfly