The Three Things that has Helped Me and Hopefully Can Help You!
It seems the challenging times are the ones that really shape us but also call for the most out of us. When in the midst of experiencing, working through and resolving inner, outer or both conflicts sometimes the best way to get through is simply hang tight and hope for a brighter outcome like waiting for the calm after the storm. If we have the motivation or support to help us be able to get through is a good first step, still it can take a lot of personal strength and courage to just putting one foot in front of the other when things seem uncertain or when we become uncertain of ourselves. Through my experiences I’ve learned that it’s not the easiest to go through but it is a process worth going through if only to come into a new awareness. Until then it can be a bumpy ride of sorting out but perhaps what I’ve kept in mind through my own challenging experiences can help you.
Be kind to yourself: It can be hard not to self criticize, dredge up past emotions or actions, analyze and overanalyze the situation until the cows come home but one thing I’ve learned from wrestling with these tendencies is that they are not always helpful. Sure it is important to reflect on the incident or occurrence to help us move forward and learn from our mistakes but this can also hold you back from moving forward positively and forgiving yourself. We all at one point in our lives fall prone to pitfalls and thoughts on self judgment that serve no purpose than no other to keep us down. These things are bound to happen, so be easy on yourself and know that part of hindsight comes from our errs or oversights, ones that we couldn’t have known.
Take Things Day by Day and Allow for the Process to Happen: From my own personal experience, there were many days where this is all I could in times of great stress and anxiety to get by and move forward in a positive way. If you can get through those first few days and allow yourself to take things slow by taking things day by day and for time to pass as it does, it’s a good step healthy step in keep those anxieties and self perpetuating thoughts at bay. Even if it takes longer than we would like to carry on as normal or to feel good again it is completely okay, and it’s okay if that’s all you can do. By accepting this it is another way of being kind and patient with ourselves and fears during this time. Sometimes we only have the courage of a mouse but it is still a form of courage and that’s good and worth noting. Do what you can do, and keep on, keepin’ on.
It does get easier day by day: This is probably the most overriding theme and message that I’ve realized from getting through times of tough growth or failure is that those first few days are the hardest part of rising strong but if we continue to move forward gradually it will get better. Things will look up and you’ll see that everything won’t be as hard as the first few days which can be the toughest. At one point, hopefully, you’ll realize that as time passed so has your biggest hurdles. This is where rising strong feels good and becomes easier because as the expression states: “the only way out is through”. Through the tough times, the fear, uncertainty and nervousness. There may be some days that will take a bit more of that courage while others less but either way each step forward will also lead to extra courage and ease, so don’t get discouraged and know that each will build towards progress in the end.
Stay strong and brave,
What I’ve learned from Creativity and Deciding!
If there is one thing I’ve learned about myself in the last year or so it’s that almost anything becomes possible once I set my mind to it and decide to go for it. I’ve taken on so many new experiences not only this year but in the last couple of years that have gotten me to where I am now. All have involved deciding to take on at the time something new. If I had not done so then who knows where or who I’d be, perhaps still me but a little more different, a little less brave/open. It’s not always so easy though, and realizing that much of the time what held me back is in agonzining over decisions, going back and forth between truly wanting to try and bowing out in hopes of gaining more information or clarity. I’ve driven myself crazy in this process- the hemming and hawing involved in making next steps; second guessing/going one way or the other then back again is exhausting; dwelling on the uncertainty looming in the air at times has seemed like an effort in futility.
What has proven valuable- despite uncertainty- is indubitable power in deciding to do something even if you’re unsure. If guessing at what’s unclear is no help then the one that does and can control is our own decisions, which can either mean being brave in the chance of uncertainty or sticking to what we know and is familiar. Which although is safe, doesn’t really allow you or I to grow. If I had stuck to the familiar and in giving an example say in creativity then I would have never learned how enjoyable baking, or knitting or even doing pastels would have been. By deciding, however, to at least try these experiences I’ve learned and grown so much all of which I wouldn’t have if I stayed in my room.
There’s also a quote I’ve seen and have around my desk that reads:
“If it excites you and scares you at the same time, it might be a good thing to try”.
I find it a great inspiration to help in continuing to be brave and open to new experiences and decisions- both those with great certainty and uncertainty. I think of it every time I’m attempting to write something new; explore a new insight; try something new and especially in sharing my experiences or thoughts with someone else. All of which can seem exciting or scary to me at any given moment depending on how I chose to look at it but by taking I’ve been able to stop worrying and figure out how to move forward. *In full admittance* this is a work in progress for me that has been both inspiring and un-nerving at times but knowing there is only one way to go from where I stand and that’s forward with patience and courage has helped- also the quote mentioned above works well too.
Be brave, bold and determined,
An Introduction and Thoughts on the Subject:
I begin looking at this topic a while ago with the modest mindset of how others it seemed were more able to show an openness towards sharing themselves and their experiences which got me thinking that it seemed like a pretty courageous thing to do. I’ve always been in awe of that for others while striving to do the same myself. There is something about letting your true self be shown that is rather intimidating for me and so I’ve often admired it in others while simultaneously trying to work on it myself. With that I’ve began the process really looking at the when and where of sharing while building my own quiet courage which has taken some mustering.
My progress so far: a) Is that it takes time to get there but in order to get there we must keep moving forward and b) by doing so it becomes a process of starting somewhere (usually with sharing small thoughts/experiences/interests and moving into bigger topics BUT as mentioned above you must keep moving forward. As hard and perhaps uncertain at times as it may be the alternative to that is getting stuck in a particular spot and not contribute to your own growth or growing the connection. I’ve learned through mine and other experiences that it can take some time too, but if we’re really lucky the person we are connecting with will be patient at the times where our courage is less or what we share is in small doses. It’s important to realize this for ourselves but also in terms of how others may work through opening up and sharing, the uniqueness of it for each person is what makes sharing experiences unique and perhaps to add on another important lesson we can learn from others- especially if they are more open it can encourage us to be more open too. So to conclude is we must keep moving forward, at your own pace of course, but forward. It seems to be the only way to make connections grow and to form trust.
Really what it mostly comes down to for me and might help you is a steadfastness in showing up, and being who I truly am. I’ve also taken the perspective that just by doing that I’m already half way there. Next as follows is the little pep talks I give myself to just say one thing/share one thing about yourself and see how it goes. The voice inside me would say, and you’ll feel prouder for doing it.
For now, Introverted Butterfly
Finding the Courage to Go for It!
Goal setting has always been a curious pursuit of mine. One in which I’ve had the greatest intentions to take on but have somehow found ways to avoid doing the work or haven’t really been able to summon the courage to go for. Yes, courage I believe is what it takes to pursue such ambitions along with the guts to give up fear and the long list of excuses that come with justifying why it can’t work before beginning. It can be a dance between wanting to accomplish these things and actually following through on what we intended doing.
I know the feeling all too well and how frustrating it can be to figure out how to get over this snafu in really sticking to our own words and not finding ways to justify why it can’t be done or why it may be too much work for you or I. Seriously? what kind of reason is not getting around to it because too much time has been wasted complaining about the work or lack of time? Or too much time? Or the distractions? Or whether others may like it? Or where it will lead before even beginning? With that said I’ve realized that a lot of it is my own fears many I don’t know specifically, but even realizing they were holding me back was a huge ah ha! and first step. It takes something to realize what has been holding one back isn’t any external circumstances but our own self. That something often is courage, the courage to achieve regardless of what our fears are, to disregard what others may think and go for it out of our own strength. I’ve always sensed this in my own mind that going for our goals will take some form of bravery. To create a plan for ourselves in pursuing our individual passions but I also believe it to be a worthwhile cause. Even admitting that out loud takes guts to say, you know I’m glad for all I have but there’s this feeling urging me to explore more out there. It’s a brave statement to put other there, one in which might invite the unknown in, but also great possibilities.
Oh well… it’s something I’m bravely willing to declare here. I chose to go for it all here and instead of thinking what if I fail think instead what if I succeed. Let’s think in the positive and see what happens. As of this year I am going to do my darnest not to let the negative voices bring me down. That’s right. It’s my turn to do the talking and listen to the ones inside my head saying “Maybe… there is more out there, my dear.” This is where I test my courage and explore greater possibilities, actually take action and welcome in this New Year with excitement, hope and determination to truly make it count.
How about you? Are you ready to answer Not anymore to fear! (Feel free to let me know below in the comments, I’d be interested to hear)
With greatest intentions, hope and excitement