“It’s not what you are doing or where you are, but who you are with that matters most”

Thoughts on travels, making the most of days off and planning adventures

For the longest time all I ever wanted to do was to escape any present or impending work week drabs by going off to some far away places and destinations, where my worries and stresses about life and any other concerns could be long forgotten. The travel bug had bitten again and I was falling for it.  This was what the word “adventure” meant in my mind and therefore the only way to have an adventure or feel that sense of care-freeness a part of going away was to travel far.

Until I found someone (special) equally as curious, open and willing to explore as I am that taught me  “adventures” can take many forms and that sometimes it doesn’t matter where you are or even what we are doing as much as it’s who you are with that helps make any day an adventure. Simply experiencing those things together and making our own adventures close to home has led to incredible days and inspiration for future adventures and projects. So for now I am happy helping to create and explore places closer to home with inspirations to go a bit further in broadening our horizons. All in all  maps-pin-624x351it really doesn’t  matter because those days were made into adventures by us just spending time together and seeing where the day could day take us.

The final insight and a summing up: To remember wherever you chose it to be- as far or close as you like- it’s who you are with that matters most, from there adventure will follow and you’re bound to have a good time.

*Thank-you for showing me that we don’t need to travel far to find adventures, and that what makes adventures great is us.*

Introverted Butterfly

A New Perspective on What it Takes to be Open (An Introvert’s Insight!)

An Introduction and Thoughts on the Subject:

I begin looking at this topic a while ago with the modest mindset of how others it seemed were more able to show an openness towards sharing themselves and their experiences which got me thinking that it seemed like a pretty courageous thing to do. I’ve always been in awe of that for others while striving to do the same myself. There is something about letting your true self be shown that is rather intimidating for me and so I’ve often admired it in others while simultaneously trying to work on it myself.  With that I’ve began the process really looking at the when and where of sharing while building my own quiet courage which has taken some mustering.

My progress so far: a) Is that it takes time to get there but in order to get there we must keep moving forward and b) by doing so it becomes a process of starting somewhfamous-life-quote_8782-0ere (usually with sharing small thoughts/experiences/interests and moving into bigger topics BUT as mentioned above you must keep moving forward. As hard and perhaps uncertain at times as it may be the alternative to that is getting stuck in a particular spot and not contribute to your own growth or growing the connection. I’ve learned through mine and other experiences that it can take some time too, but if we’re really lucky the person we are connecting with will be patient at the times where our courage is less or what we share is in small doses. It’s important to realize this for ourselves but also in terms of how others may work through opening up and sharing, the uniqueness of it for each person is what makes sharing experiences unique and perhaps to add on another important lesson we can learn from others- especially if they are more open it can encourage us to be more open too. So to conclude is we must keep moving forward, at your own pace of course, but forward. It seems to be the only way to make connections grow and to form trust.

Really what it mostly comes down to for me and might help you is a steadfastness in showing up, and being who I truly am. I’ve also taken the perspective that just by doing that I’m already half way there. Next as follows is the little pep talks I give myself to just say one thing/share one thing about yourself and see how it goes. The voice inside me would say, and you’ll feel prouder for doing it.

 

For now, Introverted Butterfly

A Lesson on Choices

I made this post on choices, accountability, responsibility and making ones that aren’t so fun a while ago, while the toughest decision then was going to a meeting or not going to a meeting. Today the decisions have become much tougher, it seems as we grow older our decisions only more complicated and mature. It’s a lesson I’ve been learning myself in thinking ahead and finding out what best suits where I am at.  I’ve also discovered that sometimes we have to make the tough calls that sometimes don’t just affect our plans but others- and those ones really aren’t fun to do. For instance, sometimes we can’t travel as far as our younger, more ambitious care-free selves would have liked to do. Tough but okay.  What I’ve realized is that there will be other chances and better opportunities and I’ve also come to accept my own decision. The true lesson here is that it’s important to take a step back from big decisions or situations and really look at what it means. Whether it’s spending our energy and selves wisely or that there may be a better way of doing things, we just have to be patient for that time and take the time to make the best decision. For me it was as much as I would have liked to travel again I knew that to readjust after being away for so long and so far would be too draining and too much. At that point the choice was clear, at this time it was best to cancel this trip until it seemed  the more ideal time.

So why am I reposting and sharing this with you?

To show how I’ve been able to this lesson into practice- and no it may not always be easy or fun but it’s survivable- meaning it’s possible to move on from (sometimes easier than others)

Insights, Inspirations and Interests

How to be Comfortable Making Tough Decisions

When it comes to decision-making most of the time it seems we can figure out what to do with some careful thought and reflection and get a good sense of what feels right. Every once in a while though there comes along an opportunity or decision that challenges that and causes us to rethink our initial approach causing us to question our gut and ourselves. These ones are often the tough decisions. The ones that may not be your first choice but somehow you feel obligated to make regardless. At this point no longer is one making more sense over the other but it seems to be “six of one and half a dozen of the other”. If you’re unfamiliar with this expression, it simply refers to the fact that there can be as much evidence pointing to one choice/thing over the other, making them…

View original post 403 more words

Butterfly’s Radiant Reads

A Book in Review: “My Part-time Paris Life: How Running Away Brought Me Home”, By: Lisa Anselmo

I would recommend this book to anyone who loves an adventuresome read and has an curiosity for travel, because in Lisa’s memoir on transitioning into Paris life it delivers both. As her physical journey from New York to Paris unravels so it becomes an emotional story about letting go and discovering oneself away from almost everything familiar. It was these elements mixed with her incredibly descriptive take on Paris and honest storytelling abilities laying out many of her doubts and fears in the process that made me feel like I was experiencing it all with her and getting to knoppl1w Paris from her perspective.

Set in both cities (New York and Paris)   Lisa further shows you what the real Paris is like- not the touristy experience many of us get who go there- her story also tells of courage, resilience and the importance of embracing things for what they are. All that said,  I was instantly drawn into her story and found myself longing to explore Paris myself or at least learn more about the city that held such a strong fascination for Lisa. There was also more than one occasion through reading her book that a line or two popped out and made me think of my own experiences like “Hey I’ve thought exactly that before!” or “Wow. See feels that too sometimes.” Which is no surprise with such universal messages throughout that we all have experienced, thought or wrestled with; it’s not only a story for travellers but for anyone who enjoys taking on new challenges and discovery new parts of old places.

Finishing it I couldn’t believe came so fast but it also made me long to experience Paris as she had. It’s just one of those stories you have to read to believe (as I did) and find the transformative power of sometimes the biggest risks come with great personal rewards.

To all those in search of self-discovery, more travel or want something that creates a great escape into a foreign city through reading, this book is for you.

Happy reading,

Introverted Butterfly

Leaning into the ease and flow of life

Insights on easing into flow (of life)- unsettling feelings and all

I’ve noticed something recently, which is sometimes that even the goodness of having most things settled in life- for example: happy in our careers or pursing passions we love and having friends that truly care for us- can be quite a shock if you aren’t used to those good vibes. We may wish for such things and provide great contentment but if you are used to looking for or having conflict this transiton too can seem even the slightest bit unsettling. When there’s nothing iminent for our minds to obsess about it may seem too good to be true. I suppose that’s where the saying came from… when good happened to appear in one’s life it seemed unbelievable and so too good to be true.

Here’s an interesting thought… what if we actually begin to believe in the good and it’s not too good to be true? Can you imagine how that could change your whole outlook? I couldn’t until it occured to me that these moments may also be fleeting- meaning not lasting forever- so with that I tried my best to appreciate it now. And by believing this in a positive manner you’ll quickly realize as I did that what you have is already more than enough. It also may not always mean that you love every aspect of what’s going on to me this seems unrealistic, there are always going to be days when this practice is harder than other, when there may be moments that aren’t as wonderful as you’d like them to be.

 

God grantimg_1289 me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference!

How this practice works (in my experience): Instead of dwelling on those things that aren’t so perfect or good you focus on what is good- say if things seem difficult, focus on what isn’t; or going through a challenging time perhaps focus on the support you have or tools that may help versus. what definitely won’t help (complaining about the problem). By putting energy towards what you do have you are not only inviting more good in but not letting the negative ruin your day. It took a bit of mind training for me to figure out how to cut the habit of complaining out of my life, and how to focus on the good or other activities that I enjoy more (than work and complaining) but each opportunity to put this in practice it’s gotten easier as time went on.

Final tip: Try journalling to release those negative thoughts in a safe place before they have a chance to take over your thinking.

For now,

Introverted Butterfly

On Goal Setting and Intentions

Finding the Courage to Go for It!

 

Goal setting has always been a curious pursuit of mine. One in which I’ve had the greatest intentions to take on but have somehow found ways to avoid doing the work or haven’t really been able to summon the courage to go for. Yes, courage I believe is what it takes to pursue such ambitions along with the guts to give up fear and the long list of excuses that come with justifying why it can’t work before beginning. It can be a dance between wanting to accomplish these things and actually following through on what we intended doing.

I know the feeling all too well and how frustrating it can be to figure out how to get over this snafu in really sticking to our own words and not finding ways to justify why it can’t be done or why it may be too much work for you or I. Seriously? what kind of reason is not getting around to it because too much time has been wasted complaining about the work or lack of time? Or too much time? Or the distractions?  Or whether others may like it? Or where it will lead before even beginning? With that said I’ve realized that a lot of it is my own fears many I don’t know specifically, but even realizing they were holding me back was a huge ah ha! and first step. It takes something to realize what has been holding one back isn’t any external circumstances but our own self. That something often is courage, the courage to achieve regardless of what our fears are, to disregard what others may think and go for it out of our own strength. I’ve always sensed this in my own mind that going for our goals will take some form of bravery. To create a plan for ourselves in pursuing our individual passions but I also believe it to be a worthwhile cause. Even admitting that out loud takes guts to say, you know I’m glad for all I have but there’s this feeling urging me to explore more out there. It’s a brave statement to put other there, one in which might invite the unknown in, but also great possibilities.

Oh well… it’s something I’m bravely willing to declare here. I chose to go for it all here and instead of thinking what if I fail think instead  what if I succeed. Let’s think in the positive and see what happens. As of this year I am going to do my darnest not to let the negative voices bring me down. That’s right. It’s my turn to do the talking and listen to the ones inside my head saying Maybe… there is more out there, my dear.” This is where I test my courage and explore greater possibilities, actually take action and welcome in this New Year with excitement, hope and determination to truly make it count.  

How about you? Are you ready to answer Not anymore to fear! (Feel free to let me know below in the comments, I’d be interested to hear)

With greatest intentions, hope and excitement

Introverted Butterfly

 

On Brighter Days

Also experiences, opportunities and connections!

Here is how I see the value in sometimes spending my time or going for opportunities. In that there will be those rare experiences that only happen once or you know will be once in a lifetime. The ones not to miss, sit out on or cast aside. Also the ones you remember the rest of your life long after that time has pasted and you are looking back on it in nostalgia. The only way to get there though, is through an openness to whatever comes your way. For me, I have learned to be open to them, exhausted by the end of a week/time, but glad I was there to be a part of the experience than well-rested and remorseful. That’s just my humble point of view.

It’s also harder to write on such things if you’ve never ventured outside your door. To me- the girl who used to think that life happens when these sorts of experiences find you- now knows that the opposite is true. Indeed, that happen when you chose to participate in them and life, putting yourself out there and trying new things. Be prepared to be tired at the end of it all, learn things you didn’t know before and as always more about yourself. As I believe that each opportunity holds those three things or one of those three things for us to find within it. All you or I have to do then is go for it- with little hesitation, some openness and acceptance for whatever is meant to happen. That’s all.

To sum up, although I may be tired at the end of this crazily busy week and have felt like curling up in my sheets and sleeping through the weekend. I donot regret planning the things I did because luckily this time I survived being on the go, had a blast doing so and finally felt like I had great chances to connect with close friends of mine, and build on those connections. These are the things, that make life interesting, full of colour and writing on as I mentioned. Much more so than sitting at a desk, waiting for these chances to come and magically appear.

My “Swinging” Observation

How I found comfort and clarity on a swingset

I have found myself with a lot to think through recently and some unexpected insights to wrap my head. This has really brought up some interesting questions and experiences, of course one can’t get away scathe free from these insight… On one hand, with each new decision and day I am feeling more certain that there really is a great big world out there ready for me to conquer. On the other hand, there’s still much navigating left to do especially in terms of connections and friendships. As it seems, many elements remain behind unknown doors, and the learning… well it never ends. Which is good, but also quite challenging. There are times where I wished the answers were easy to decipher, having already come up with the questions myself, and finding that both take bravery, and great deal of it.

It has been exactly these kinds of thoughts that left my head spinning and my emotions frazzled along with shot nerves. Exhausted from the tremultous back and forth, on one of my walks I found myself seeking out an old strategy from mBlog Logo 3y past. As a child, I spent hours here, going back and forth trying to calm myself through whatever had jarred me of the day. At the time, this was one of the few ways that helped me coping with a very overwhelming world- at the time-. Since then, I’ve tried a few other strategies, a bit more complex or in need of more practice but none did the trick as simply or easily as the swing set. Magically, my thinking would be clearer and nerves in tack after trying many less successful strategies. Funny, isn’t it that the things we found self-soothing in the past always seem to work well then and now. For me, this has been the swings. There is something about the up and down momentum that helps calm my nerves; and leads to clearer thinking. Perhaps it’s the altitude, periodical
ly feeling like I’m elevated from all that plagues me on ground level or the repetitiveness of going back and forth acts as a form of meditative activity to bring upon a focused mind. Whatever works I guess, and that it gave me some of the clarity I was searching for.

This is what works for me. I’m curious as to what you’ve tried/what strategies work for you? Feel free to add in the comments below.

Simply Yours,

Introverted Butterfly

Thought for the Week:

“Sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees.”

Consider the forest to be what you’ll feel like down the road,  in the bigger scheme of life. What things might be like if you chose one way or another, and the moment has passed what it will look like and feel like overall. Not now, or perhaps even a few days from now but months and potentially years down the road. Will you be happy with the outcome of what you decided then versus how you are now? Or would you want to go back and chose again? Which would be great if possible, but since not it most likely means living with and accepting that decision. If it’s something we didn’t or did do that feels icky once the strong emotions have stopped. We could be living in guilt or regret because we couldn’t see ourselves further along from that one moment, and made a big mistake, often wishing it was one to take back.  I know it can be tough to learn at first, as I have learned so much from it already. Hopefully these insights help.

When we are focusing on the current moment, how you feel, what you’re thinking, and experiencing now.  When things get so rough and just making it through another day seems like a big unworthwhile effort. All there seems to be is trees, with no hope of moving past that point.  Building the strength to carry on can seem like an undoable task and it can be extremely difficult to see ourselves at better places as we continue to dwell deeper into the unhappy situation. As we are only seeing the trees, it can be difficult to see the forest.

forest-021

The Good News:

If you’re struggling to see this for yourself then there are always others who can help you find the forest when you’ve lost sight of it. They are the support system gently encouraging you to continue on, that know if you’ve gotten through other tough times then it’s possible to get through now. And most importantly, will realize that if you give up now, you might really regret it in the future. They know that this time in your life is only one period and at one point or another it will pass and the frustrations, difficulty, set backs or mistakes will fade away for brighter days. These are the people to have close by and seek out in times of need. So you are making an informed decision from the right place which is realizing the forest is amongst the trees.

Once you realize this is exactly what happened, with the help of others you can NEVER unknow it. That awareness is there and there for you to use. If only we chose to put it in place before it’s too late. It may take some time, in fact it may take a lot of time but this is where we’ll have to be gentle on ourselves and patient while we are learning and applying this useful information. We may fall a couple times but each time you’ll get up, dust yourself off and know better next time. There is no going back, there’s only going forward from here and hoping this lesson carrys on with you as go back out there and give whatever it is another shot.

Hope this helps,

Much hope and expanding,

Introverted Butterfly

Trying to do the Right Thing

Conflicting Opinions and Voices

This has been a relatively new subject of interest I’m exploring but has proven to be a good one. In which case, exploring it might help debunk some of the uncertainties that come along…

It is often said that “the heart knows best” or you’re told to “follow your heart” but what does that mean exactly? and does the heart really know best? I strongly doubt it. To me, it seems lately it is just one of the many conflicting opinions adding to the pile awaiting a overwhelmed ear. There is sometimes, so much to be said about a particular situation and a lot on the line that it can be tricky to tell left from right or right from wrong. Your heart is telling you one thing- and it speaks loud and clear on what it believes is right. While other opinions surround you and confuse you with what they believe is right. What are you to do? It’s your heart. You would think listening to it would be the best bet, but always. Yet, there is no other who is experiencing the feelings you have for the situation or the way you are experiencing it.  This is where I’m really working on tuning into how I’m feeling and giving myself the time to think things through. Yet, it tough because I don’t always know whether an individual decision will work out or fail until I do it. Then you learn- often the hard way- what works.

With each of these situations, it appears I’m learning but feels like I’m taking one step forward and three back. Which if you ask me, isn’t really great progress and really emotionally draining. When it comes down to how we are feeling in a particular moment, versus how we might feel down the road. They are two different things, both of which are hard to predict. This can create confusion, and how can one predict how you’re going to be in the future. There have been many times when lead by confusion I’ve gotten into trouble that I could have avoided. It hasn’t taken much to get there but the very next day it’s been my head and myself dealing with the emotional consequences of giving the heart full range. Be sure that heart, mind and you can live with the consequences the next day. As sometimes we need to override the heart and consider what things might be like down the road (even if it is challenging at times to do) and make the best decision possible, not only for that moment but for the future.

Let me know what you thought of this post, by liking or comment down below. I’d be interested to know.

Introverted Butterfly