A New Perspective on What it Takes to be Open (An Introvert’s Insight!)

An Introduction and Thoughts on the Subject:

I begin looking at this topic a while ago with the modest mindset of how others it seemed were more able to show an openness towards sharing themselves and their experiences which got me thinking that it seemed like a pretty courageous thing to do. I’ve always been in awe of that for others while striving to do the same myself. There is something about letting your true self be shown that is rather intimidating for me and so I’ve often admired it in others while simultaneously trying to work on it myself.  With that I’ve began the process really looking at the when and where of sharing while building my own quiet courage which has taken some mustering.

My progress so far: a) Is that it takes time to get there but in order to get there we must keep moving forward and b) by doing so it becomes a process of starting somewhfamous-life-quote_8782-0ere (usually with sharing small thoughts/experiences/interests and moving into bigger topics BUT as mentioned above you must keep moving forward. As hard and perhaps uncertain at times as it may be the alternative to that is getting stuck in a particular spot and not contribute to your own growth or growing the connection. I’ve learned through mine and other experiences that it can take some time too, but if we’re really lucky the person we are connecting with will be patient at the times where our courage is less or what we share is in small doses. It’s important to realize this for ourselves but also in terms of how others may work through opening up and sharing, the uniqueness of it for each person is what makes sharing experiences unique and perhaps to add on another important lesson we can learn from others- especially if they are more open it can encourage us to be more open too. So to conclude is we must keep moving forward, at your own pace of course, but forward. It seems to be the only way to make connections grow and to form trust.

Really what it mostly comes down to for me and might help you is a steadfastness in showing up, and being who I truly am. I’ve also taken the perspective that just by doing that I’m already half way there. Next as follows is the little pep talks I give myself to just say one thing/share one thing about yourself and see how it goes. The voice inside me would say, and you’ll feel prouder for doing it.

 

For now, Introverted Butterfly

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One thought on “A New Perspective on What it Takes to be Open (An Introvert’s Insight!)

  1. I wanted to say a few things (partly as an excuse to do some writing and feel productive, but mostly because this subject all too relatable for me.) Sorry if I’m rambling a bit. . .

    I think you’re absolutely right about taking small steps when it comes to being more open; there’s not much gain in worrying about the destination, when the journey can at times seem so daunting. Just take one step at a time. Every little bit helps, however small. It’s something I try to keep in mind, and have been trying to work on, slowly.

    Being open and honest bout one’s self is absolutely an admirable and courageous thing to do; it’s facing fear head-on and working to overpower and overcome it. Not at all easy for some. I think it likely comes easier with age for most people; over time you have fewer apprehensions, and you feel less inclined to justify yourself to others and are more comfortable in your own skin. At least, that’s my hope.

    I recently started seeing a therapist (something that in of itself is really hard for me to admit; I doubt I’d be able to divulge that so easily to someone face-to-face.) it’s a slow process that I need to try and be patient with. In recent years, I’ve come to realize that I’ve let fear really dictate my life and steer me in many wrong directions. Even something as simple as leaving this comment, I have apprehensions about. Fear of judgement, mostly. ‘What will people think of me?’ That’s always the reoccurring question. It encompasses far too many of the decisions I make. And you can never really know the answer to ‘what will they think?’, but in most situations I tend to assume the worst. It’s a really self-destructive way of being that I have to work on fixing. Because ultimately, it doesn’t matter if people are judgemental. And they likely aren’t going to be anyway.
    I used to have a roommate who was shockingly open to me about a lot of aspects of his life. Literally the first time me and him ever hung out, about twenty minutes into our first conversation he said to me, ‘I feel like we know each other pretty well at this point,’ as if I’d known him for years, and began venting to me about incredibly personal things in his life. It really caught me off guard.

    We’d had many conversations like that where he’d bring the subject somewhere that sort of ‘forced me out of my shell.’ I can’t say I was ever entirely comfortable doing it, but it made being open a lot easier; I couldn’t just sit there and pretend that he was alone in his hardships. He was often incredibly blunt and to the point, and thinking back on it I’m glad he’d taken conversations to those dark places and dragged me along. I’d shared things with him that I’d never shared with anyone (I still wasn’t nearly as brave and open as he was, though. Sometimes I wish I could have been.) But it made me realise that I wasn’t alone in my thoughts and experiences, which made being open a lot easier.

    There are far worse things than having an uncomfortable conversation about life and its many struggles. Keeping things bottled up, as I’ve learned, is one of those things.

    Anyway, this has become a short essay, so I’ll close by simply thanking you for your insights. . . It was a wonderful read that inspired me to write during a bit of a creative dry spell.

    Best of luck on your journey to becoming the ‘you’ you want to be.

    -Norm

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