How to embrace new experiences and set our expectations for fun!
So here is my theory. I believe when we challenge ourselves to step outside of our comfort zones, and into new experiences then there is a much to be enjoyed and learned from it, as long as we aren’t setting our expectations too high or not giving it the benefit of the doubt. Also by being open to these new experiences we’re also opening ourselves up to a more enriching lives with every opportunity that comes our way. And allowing it to be anything and everything, as it is. From there, there’s no knowing where it will lead or what will come next. You may find new ways to spend your time or find out something you might have thought wasn’t for you actually is. Just give it a chance to surprise you. No matter what we are currently experiencing or doing there is something to be learned from it if we are open to it, so why not embrace that as well and throw fun in their just for fun’s sake! An especially valid point for really new experiences.
I’ll admit looking back, I didn’t always believe this to be true. A younger version of me would have shyed away from such activities simply because they sounded too new to me. Immediately, my mind would fill with doubt as I pictured the worst case scenario happening to each outside my comfort zone. I would also set expectations too high and be
victim to disappointment or disappointing myself if it didn’t turn out just so. What I now realize is by closing myself off to these opportunities I wasn’t allowing the opportunity to be fun and enjoyable. By being open to more experiences now-a-days that have surprised me and where I’ve had a blast, really been able to be present in that moment, felt pride for at least trying and most importantly HAD FUN!
Here are just a few: baking then cooking, doing crafts, travelling- that was a big one, but highly rewarding, drumming and dancing. At one point, or other they all seemed foreign and undoable to me now the more I try them or in different ways the more open I am to try them again!
To sum up- here is my simpler list of ways to set FUN as the expectation:
- Sometimes we have to be gentler on ourselves for not quite getting the moves right, or getting anything right the first time. Ask yourself: “Am I having Fun?” and if the answer is “Yes!” then you’re doing great!
- Putting expectations on it to go perfectly or for us to be perfect at it. Is too much to ask, and will only get us stuck in our heads and out of being present in the moment. You can’t expect to be perfect at something you’ve never tried folks! So, why set yourselves up for failure or disappointment?
- Also it’s impossible to go into any new situation positively when doubt and pessism cloud your thoughts. What that means is we’re closing off the experience to be what it is by already picturing what it won’t be or putting negative energy towards its’ outcome. Try going in open-minded, and embracing it for however it turns out!
- And finally…be proud of yourself for taking that first step and going through with it! Sometimes, it’s as simple as saying “Heck! Yes!” even if you aren’t entirely sure what it will entail. Savour the experience and how you feel by being open, positive, having fun and feeling pride just for trying it out!
When I started setting these expectations for myself then it was definitely easier for me to say “Yes” to more new experiences, enjoy them more and have fun!
Images: Courtesy of Google
Often we are taught that many expectations begin in the mind, and start out as some ideal vision of what we hope the situation/experience to become. From there, they guide us and let us know how well or not we are doing in creating the perfect scenario. Most of the time we are aware of this and can best figure out how to work with them. But there are the select few cases that are a fair bit more trickier to figure out how to navigate our own expectations or perhaps it is finding a way to release them when out of our control. This from my experience is particularly true of the ones where we are required to put our hearts out there for others to embrace and in forming connections with that person. Essentially, ones where it’s not just you involved.
The reality of the experience often tends to be slightly different from expectations, and can create a contrast and confusion over what we perceive is real versus inside our heads. As our expectations often try to trick us into thinking that it is not enough or it’s something we hope to be more than it is. As we get our hopes up, though, our hearts grow with fancy full possibilities of that something now becoming grand. Well sometimes these hopes work out for the better, certain ones can lead to heartbreak and disappointment when your expectations differ from the other persons. Regardless, though, we must try to be brave and open allowing another to see our true selves. In these moments, our hearts can grow fonder or fuller of possibilities as all it seems to take is one positive moment for this to begin as the possibilities to appear and expectations to come in from no where.
This is why I believe it can be hard to lower or let go of certain expectations because as it is common for our hearts and minds to conflict over particular situations- like whether to take a job or not, where to travel, or what to do in your life it can be really challenging when the dilemma directly involves the heart and a fondness for another person. In what should be the hearts territory we often have to consult our minds to be sure and feel safest doing so, making the battle that much more confusing and tougher to release our greatest hopes from. This is why
it takes being able to do that in the heart as well to truly let go, for one to be okay doing that, work through the process of letting go and accepting what is right in front of us as it is.
This is just my humble opinion though, I’d be interested to see how you deal with your expectations? And do you believe it’s possible to lower them without totally breaking our own hearts?
Receptive and Heartfelt,
An Message on Perspective and Staying True
It seems over the past little while I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on my writing, the journey it’s taken me on and how I’m planning to continue on with it. Yeah… some deep thinking here. Anyways, I’ve come into the conclusion that as a blogger it can be tricky at times to write what best reflects this particular blogger but also try to make it relatable to others or hope it is on some level. Perhaps others have felt this too from time to time, that as much as it can be about your experiences there are others experiences and perspectives out there to be considered. To me, this means trying to be as authentic as one can be ,in my own experiences while being aware- even though I may not write about it- that others may not experience things the same as I do or have those same experiences to relate to as easy. I suppose the best one can do is write what’s true to you, meaning writing for yourself first and others second. Acknowledging that your perspective may not be the only one out there but can hope there’s some part of it others may find helpful along the way. I also make the conscious choice to keep things as positive as possible. With so much negativity out there in the world I chose to add positivity to our collective consciousness rather than more negative/bad vibes. This is how I chose to create my impact: add good vibes out there. It doesn’t mean I’m not aware of what else is happening, I just don’t want to add to it.
For me, there is no other way to write than what it true, and often positive or ending on a positive note. So I’m going to accept this fact. It might not always come easily but as long as I try to understand it then I think all will be well and helpful in times of conflicting feelings. After all, this experience is as much about me as it is for you. I’m writing my own insights- whether they are relatable or not-, and experiences to help me continue to grow and be inspired. There may be times when it’s message is just a simple reminder for me to get out there or there may be others that we can all learn more from. What’s important is that I stay true to my experience and authentic in my voice.That’s my goal, and believe what I’ll work on carrying through with this project.
Thanks all for continuing to tune in.
Accepting it as it is:
Have you ever looked back on a situation, after having a day or days to let it set in and realized it doesn’t seem as jarring as you thought it would be? Or in the very least, when the dust settles you realize that “ahh. Yes!” It’s quite possible to get through it, despite your beliefs on not being able to survive it. Surprising, isn’t it when this happens. It’s also quite possible we may have over-reacted to the situation and the bulk of our reaction might have come from predicting something to happen that hasn’t yet. Once you realize there is no way to get around it or change it after it occurred the next best thing is to accept it as it is.
Sometimes it is a really tough situation to recover from that changes our lives in ways, we would never have wished for. That takes time- and quite a bit of it- to bounce back from, but if you’re resilient like me then you do bounce back eventually and carry on. There are others times ,too though, when we make mountains out of the smallest mole hills. The panic button is pressed and we automatically assume the worst of situation even though it may not have happened it. Regardless, we create an over-reaction to the situation without giving it the benefit of being positive. I know this is often a common tendency for me, I don’t know why I become so worried over the smallest things or assume the worst? But I do it anyways.
What you can do- to help yourself get through and make the best of it:
What I am learning, in this case, it is often your perceived outlook on the situation or the change we try and predict it can create that creates our reaction- and less about the actual situation itself. Most of the time there is nothing we can do to go back and change it. An event, moment, or experience only happens in matter of minutes, hours or seconds, then it’s over. However, what we can change is our attitude on the situation. We can make into one of the worst experiences and fight against the fact that it exists OR simply accept it as it is, allow ourselves to feel through it- if is necessary- and make an effort to see the good in the situation. Imagining the best that can come from it makes it easier on ourselves to accept and make the most of what we’re given from it.
It’s like the statement says:
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
So why not make it a positive 90% and a worthwhile.
Trust from my experience, can be one of those very tricky and delicate virtues that takes the most time to build up and the littlest effort to break. It’s true isn’t it? Especially, if there is never any sure way of knowing what the right thing is.
What’s interesting is that it comes from knowing this, and realizing to trust another is letting them and often yourself know that “I get you may make mistakes, and won’t always intend to hurt me” but accepting them and all they bring to a particular connection anyways and often despite that fact. It is the mere fact, that through empathy (which is understanding that when someone makes a mistake we’ve all been there) that allows us to connect with each other as individuals.
I see it like the game of Jenga and in particular the tower you build up at the start of the game- piece by piece upon one another. As we develop trust with each other that beginning foundation is built through sharing experiences, stories, faults and personal feelings. As I’m learning only through what is essentially opening up can that trust expand into greater and more indepth connections. Whether it works out or not with that person; whether there are mistakes made at least you can feel that we’re able to trust another and gave it your best shot-with no regrets.
The alternative is living with the could have-should have-would have regrets of not allowing the other person to see the complete you because of a fear of getting hurt and not trusting the other. So, this is what I hope to fully embrace and help me in building on my connections greater. After all, you never know until you’ve tried!
Hope this helps inspire you to open your hearts,
Images from: Google
“Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may have been given a cactus, but you don’t have to sit on it.”- Joyce Meyer
Always on the look out for insightful and inspiring quotes to help further positivity. Many catch my attention but sometimes there’s one or two that particularly sticks out for me at a certain time or place in my life. That it’s words resignate deeply within me and what I’m experiencing at the present moment. This is one of those instances where it’s wisdom has truly struck a chord with my experience presently and hope will help bring me into a more optimistic place. I love how it touches on that we already have a journey ahead of us that may not always be smooth, and if we dwell on that along with every hiccup that comes our way than we are making it harder on ourselves- hence sitting on the cactus we were already given- and who really intentionally wants to do that. It’s not overly complicated or deep, complex or even long message. Two sentences, that say it all about life and our perspectives on it. That dwelling on all the negativity will not change anything, only to make each day harder on yourself by bringing more of what makes it hard into your life.
I also fully understand that sometimes we just need to feel our experiences and what we are going through. To get to a more positive place, and sometimes those experiences create storms within our emotions. As one of my mentors- repeatedly points out-: “Just the experience of feeling what you are, IS THE EXPERIENCE itself!” There is sometimes nothing more to it than that. It is what it is. So allow it to be, and flow through you. Those feelings are there to help in the healing process and point out to us valuable lessons or show us exactly how strongly we felt about a particular situation. A good indication that we’re living and experiencing life to the fullest.
At a certain point ,I believe, when we’re ready to move past the pain and negativity onto much more brighter and lighter things. This is the point, where dwelling in the negative isn’t as useful and essentially is like sitting on the cactus. Of course, you’re always going to get poked in the butt if you keeping bring those feelings on and go about the journey that lay ahead in a negative way versus one full of love, healing and hope.
So with that I march on, determined to get through the week and find inspiration again, be more positive and optimistic, productive and hope for a better week next week.
Here’s hoping for brighter days to come:
On Openness and Letting Others See Your Authentic Self:
Putting yourself out there, personally and in the flesh, can be a very brave thing to do. You are letting those around you, see all your true colours- the pinks, purples, and yellows but also the darker ones those blues, greys and storm like hues. These are the sides we would rather not let out of our grasp, and instead keep safely tucked away without the key. Unfortunately, though, they are also the ones important to show if we want to build on any of our connections because these parts of us- all parts- are how we let others know that we are authenic (and human). Nobody is perfect, everybody has their faults/flaws. Those flaws are what make us interesting individuals.
I know that it may take some time and therefore is a process in which we must be patient with ourselves. These are two things, that I’m learning to work towards embracing more myself. So I totally get that. I’m starting to understand this though, that there really is no guarntee that others will be able to embrace every aspect of you, and will agree with what you’re saying but true friends accept each other for who they are- flaws and all-. Also the ones that forgive often when misunderstanding occurs. Which is good because sometimes, we say things we’ll regret or take back later, or worse say nothing at all for fear that it will be the wrong thing or get taken the wrong way.
So how to begin…
You could start by challenging yourself to be more open, honest and authenic. I know it’s a hard and sometimes scary thing to do, but I am chosing to believe it’s 100% worth it in the end. Not only in finding the right connections and growing them, but in working towards total acceptance of the self. Just think, if we can’t accept ourselves first then how are we going to allow another to get the chance to do that? When we become more comfortable with who we are and what we have to offer it seems easier to let others see that and know that if we find ourselves straying from true form they have the chance to remind us who we truly are.
So, why not take a chance or risk and open up a bit more outside of your comfort zone.