Part Two: Hoping for a Particular Outcome in Experiences
So a little while ago, I talked about putting expectations on people and the roles that we sometimes wish them to fill- realistic or not- that put pressure on our connection with them rather than simply accepting everything that they bring to a certain relationship- which “Yes” can mean the good and bad. I figure that’s about what any connection whether it’s romantic, friendly or familial is. Accepting that person where they are at, what they bring to any relationship is the key to truly appreciating it and allowing it to grow. There’s more on this from Hindsight of Past Moments (and Expectations), if you’re interested in knowing more.
Here we’re focus on the otherside, when we put expectations on an experience or desperately want some to have a big outcome. To start here is an example of how the two work hand in hand:
You plan to go to this really awesome concert with a friend. Although, your friend likes the group, music and over all concert experience, you have a sense that they won’t enjoy it as much as you or aren’t a big enough fan to truly savour the experience. Regardless, you invited them anyways with the hopes that hearing the group perform live would create an even bigger fan of your friend. By the way- already expectations have come (most of the time unconsciously) in your mind. You also hope that if your friend is having an awesome time, you’ll have an even awesomer time than planned. On the flipside, if your friend only finds the concert okay, isn’t that wowed by your favourite artist or can’t pretend to be into the scene (Which by the way, is totally okay- to each their own I always say) then by placing expectations on their enjoyment, yours may fall short too or worse would ruin the experience for you. So you see, what ends up happening is expectations can block you from not only appreciating what is right in front of you but being in that moment and your own enjoyment!
To nicely sum up: All we can really do and control- I might add- is ourselves and our outlooks. The rest a lot of the time isn’t up to us, but the situation and what comes of it. So, here’s the choice: We can chose to make the best of it or let make the best of us. Meaning ruin our outlook and cast a negative cloud over the experience. Therefore the more we and others can enjoy it and make the best of the moments before they become memories, the better off we’ll be. This isn’t always easy, but totally worth it in the end.
So set yourself free of trying to expect too much, and try being open to whatever happens, when it happens!